Hating Love

Ludicrous it may sound now, 

but it was me who wanted to live and die with you. 

Today the reality is different. 

It’s time to accept;

I failed as a lover,  

we failed as lovers. 

 

Love rarely dies a natural death, 

what is left with us is residual love. 

The love we had for each other has zombified

and we are keeping a blind eye to it. 

Our lives are going nowhere.

We are not we,

our feelings have died open-eyed. 

 

It’s hard to believe that once upon a time 

we loved each other. 

May be our foundations were weak 

built on momentary emotions and attachments. 

Let’s help each other. 

Let’s not hold ourselves back from growing.

 

Before our love becomes diseased

stinky 

toxic 

abusive 

mutates to become cancerous 

and eats us out. 

Let’s cleanse ourselves 

and adieu goodbye. 

 

Else we will live in lingering pain 

keep on shaming love

cursing love

hating love

become villains of love 

even though love gave us few best moments in life 

and it is love that can excavate the pain from us.

 

© Kumar Gautam

Heartbreaker

Heartbreaker, thank you!

 

Thank you for all the rage, threatening, abuse and violence.

Thank you for pushing me to the edge that

I have killed my past

and upgraded myself to my best version.

 

Thank you,

it is because of you

I realised who am I

what’s my worth.

 

Thank you.

A patient of chronic depression

is now an inspiration

to many.

 

Thank you.

I have started loving myself most

and I don’t miss out on love

from an opposite sex.

 

Thank you

for helping me re-define

meanings of love,

re-write story of my life.

 

Thank you,

heart-breaker!

 

© Kumar Gautam

Friend Zone

She said,

I love you but I am not in love with you.

The sparkle has diminished and I have lost

touch with feelings. It’s time to switch off

and just remain friends.

 

He said,

Your proposal for friendship is fall sense of insecurity.

All is not about lovemaking,

It’s about taking love and making love.

What has died, is your desire for me

because love never dies.

 

She said, we can still remain friends.

He said, I loved a friend but I can’t love all my friends.

 

© Kumar Gautam

Photo: 500px

Closure

Ours was lack of discernment.

Add to it arrogance

in the garb of priorities and commitments

not typical unfaithfulness

or taking love for granted.

 

However incomplete our love was,

it is not a mind game

or any unfinished business

that needs a closure.

 

It’s not a block or clot,

soot or fog.

It’s cosmic dance of soul.

This mirth

will remain with you,

and with me.

Haunting you,

soothing me.

 

Love is still love for me,

for you it might have turned into a lesson of psychology.

 

© Kumar Gautam

Adieu

Goodbye,

I know there will never be a next time for us 

to meet again. 

Goodbye, 

I know we are not going to see each other 

ever again. 

Goodbye,

I know I need to suppress the child in me and behave 

like a man. 

Goodbye, 

I know the emotions inside me are upsurging but I cannot exhibit 

the pain. 

Goodbye,

I wish someone had taught me how to end things 

when things aren’t worth end. 

 

© Kumar Gautam