Walk Away



I have none

my love 


I had to walk away 


saying a goodbye. 



To world 

it may sound 

same old story 

but the truth is 

our differences 

outweighed the good.



© Kumar Gautam




It’s better to suffer in love 

then not love. 

It’s better to bear the pain 

then live in nothingness. 

It’s better to bleed

then to remain contaminated and stored. 

It’s better to be messy

then to be born-breathe-dry-die. 

It’s better to erupt 

then to flow molten yet look cold. 

It’s better to cry a thousand tears 

then freeze to be numb.

It’s better to remember memories 

then to get lost in thoughts. 

It’s better to be sacrificed 

then die a slow death. 


© Kumar Gautam

Maze Of Our Love

The commotion of my emotion 

is creating confusion 

as I am getting entangled in the mystery that is you

while walking through the maze of our love.


I know I am lost 

but that’s the treasure of having you in my life 

that reward is my prize 

I am ready to live with and die for.  


My existence is you. 

my wisdom is you, my love. 

You are labyrinth, 

ruined I am to have your sight

yet i can sense you all the time in my heart. 


The puzzle, 

the ongoing game, 

the longing, 

my wings of imagination, 

love nest 

and my heart in your soul’s cage

enough of love tests

let not my love be erased. 


Unveil the secret passage to your heart, 

let me hold it with my hands and feel it.

Let me commit a crime that provides me a seat

deep inside your heart. 

let me cry, let me glow 

let me be lost, merge in slow.  


Before the contradictions galore, 

before people question our love,

reveal the uniqueness of you and our love.

Let the quest be quenched, 

world blinded with love and scent of romance.

Before my tears dry, heart is shelled

meet me at the end of the labyrinth. 


© Kumar Gautam

One Last Attempt

You the one with filthy heart, 

you couldn’t see the real me!

I opened my heart to nurse your heart 

and you selfishly walked away 

leaving me vulnerable



The reality is love can’t be forced. 

It’s difficult to stay calm and think logic, 

my mind has been taken hostage, 

heart butchered in pieces, 

I am on display publicly under social prism,

yet I stand patient. 


Never thought love could cripple me.

I stand weak 

begging one last time.

Come complete me

else burn me to charr

then my spirit will write my love story.


© Kumar Gautam

Love After Breakup


Things were never ok between us

and we both knew it.

Since I always proclaim myself to be righteous

and brave. I gave the man in me

a chance to play ‘strong’.

Me being articulate and smooth talker,

considered by her as well

I thought I will make her understand

there’s a mess and we are part of it

“Let’s be mature good adults and finish it.”


I completed.

Silence shrieked in ears.

I could see tear droplets dropping and drooling on her naked thighs,

sliding down all the way to toe and whatever identity it was left with,

it wet the floor.

I had no courage to look into her eyes,

I prefered to look down and watch the final destiny of tears.

She wept and said, “I always knew you will do something like this. Why you had to start it all when you had envisioned end to be something like this?”


I pretended to be strong. Kept quiet.

Men and women around judged me.

The dog sitting besides,  barked and walked off

staring at me.

Any other day, those tears were most precious entities

to be wasted on humanity.

But that day, I just let her cry.

Half an hour and I said, “I need to go”.

I walked her to the cab.

No hugs, no kisses, a half-open mouthed almost inaudible goodbye. She left.

I took a deep sigh, “it was hard, but I did it.”.

One last thought of her and I mumbled, “she will thank me for this, after all one of us had to bring an end to it.”



They say it’s hard to find new friends as you grow up.

She was not my BFF but certainly she wasn’t KOF*.

Who wants to loose a friend after building certain consistency and that too in 30’s.

We stayed in touch.

We met, we joked

laughed like school buddies

“How silly are we? We hate and miss each other with same intensity…”


One meeting, endless talks

and the emotions gushed in new zeal.

We were back together.

She was happy, she got what she wanted – me.

Her happiness meant again world to me.


But I being always self-righteous

let me proclaim, again, I know the reality.

The shrilling pain will pinch again,

we will go through similar emotional drill.

As one grows-up, one understands,

there are certain things not meant to be

but their memories are enough to glee

when days would be sultry.

But then Love is a bigger responsibility.

Sex can be casual and forgotten, love can’t be.

© Kumar Gautam

Photo: Quests Shippe

*KOF – Kind of friend.


Significant Other

You dumped me boy 

and I was gutted. 


You didn’t like 

the confident me

who talks her mind

pays her bills 

picks her luggage 

and demands orgasm. 


Your friends exclaimed 

how can there be someone 

as good as she? 

“The bitch is pretending”

and you played being man 

and choose friends over me. 


You should have known boy

I nurtured our relationship 

took it serious 

put efforts

for it to last forever

and I had no reasons to fake.  


I wasn’t acting a typical girl 

playing love games. 

Those hide and seek 

you please me-I please you 

I pretend to be upset 

and you run honking like a goose.  


I had no doubt in my mind 

that we won’t together shine 

What my friends called sacrifice 

I named it love virtue

While you thought me and you, two  

we were one, unison in my heart and mind. 


Well, let me clear the clouds 

and pronounce my worth. 

If life is a gamble, 

you were a tiny gamble. 

While you keep looking 

for that “bad” girl who looks good  

I have already found my another, ‘significant other’. 


© Kumar Gautam


Photo Courtesy: 500px.com


It’s strange, 

I didn’t even hug you, touch you or even shook hands. 

But the moment I saw you, I knew 

you were my other half. 

I bet it was not my forlornness. 


You are the mystic healer 

my bleeding heart was looking for. 

A heart crushed under the weight of past;

a heart full of pain, guilt and regret.  


Your mysterious eyes 

looked for the blue devil within me 

as if trying to exorcise the melancholy out of me

and flash in delightful love. 


But I wonder 

how long will you keep loving my scars 

that I am ashamed of.  

At some point of time your heart will repulse 

the odour of my rotten past. 


Still if you can take a little trouble 

a bit of dolor, 

I promise you 

I will be slave to your love 

in this journey of life.   


© Kumar Gautam