I am an Alcoholic

Confessions of an alcoholic

Cheers!

I am an alcoholic.

My association with alcohol

began like an innocent experiment.

Today, social activity to me means alcohol.

My definition of ‘happy life’ is

alcohol at night to make me sleep

and a drink in the morning to wake me up.

 

Alcohol has given me friends,

many friends.

My list of friends is never ending.

It increases as I slosh another drink.

I have build connections,

expanded business.

My life is constellation of LED lights

wait a minute, there’s a twist in my ‘spirit-ed’ tale.

 

Alcohol is my only friend

Like a PR personnel it manages my brain.

Sympathy has fizzed.

Emotions have diluted.

Cynicism has over taken.

And ‘boss’ I am always right.

Screw you all, I am always right.

 

Dude! Let me confess…

 

I often find myself disconnected.

Three voices echo within me at a time –

alcoholic voice, my numb me voice and voice of my soul.

My soul acts loner;

rarely talks,

behaves dumb.

My body hates it as if it is an enemy.

My alcohol possessed mind thinks of it as beast.

Yes, my soul has turned beast.

I ain’t anymore me.

I have turned – he, she, they.

I am crowd and alcohol makes me feel I am THE.

 

Mate!

Binge drinking,

Bringing shame upon,

embarrassment,

regrets,

struggle to exist,

aren’t acts of heroism.

For a person like me,

who is known to be sober otherwise.

 

It’s a fool’s paradise

We drink to drink

And later drink sinks.

The bout continues,

drink-sink, sink-drink, sink-sink.

 

So you wanna be real cool!

Sink not rise,

rise to drink.

There’s enough to drink around

Drink and suck all illusion, fiction, hypothesis.

Sense the real cool quotient,

the euphoria.

Be the real different one.

Be the real cool.

Dude, enough being ridiculed.  

 

© Kumar Gautam

 

Photo: 500px.com

 

 

 

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