I love my wife.
I am happily married.
My love for her is irreplaceable,
yet I will always love my ex-girlfriends.
Loving them doesn’t mean,
I haven’t moved on.
I am happy for myself,
I am happy for them.
Still my love for them
adorns a corner of my heart,
a shelf in my brain.
Our relationship eroded, corroded.
We departed cursing, swearing,
taking vows never will love again.
Today my wife and me laugh off,
when I narrate those incidents…
at times feeling degraded, stupid, ashamed.
To dust off past is easy to pretend,
but its hard to fake with conscience.
My ex-girlfriends may not have added blood or flesh in me
but certainly helped in my evolution,
as a better human.
Walked along as a companion,
on several journeys
though they were shorter and fewer were destinations.
Our relationship died a slow death.
choices looked bad,
love became delusional
but imprints on soul…
they may fade few shades
but they are for ever.
If I am an element,
they are atoms.
They make me pure.
My heart is a compartment made of love blocks.
My ex-girlfriends stacked a few blocks.
How incomplete I would be
if I remove blocks of their name.
Today when I look back, I realise
if I love myself
and wish to be true to self
I need to cherish all my moments.
All that is concentrated within me
making me unique.
I owe all that to my wife and all my ex-girlfriends
Whom I will always love until I die.
– Kumar Gautam
Photo credit: Nicolas Raymond (www.freestock.ca)